Batsugun tomorrow! First Judo tournament in two years.

Hey loyal readership,

It's the night before the Hudson Judo Promotional Tournament and I'm feeling a bit of anxiety. On some level, I thought that I had mentally outgrown caring about rank- after all, I've been wearing my brown belt so long that the caked on dirt and blood makes it look black anyway. That said, even if I did care about rank I'm (theoretically) only moving from sankyu to nikyu, so what's the big deal?

I think that part of me, after taking such a "long" break (percentage of lifetime-wise) from Judo, is afraid that I've wasted my potential in regards to becoming a great judoka. Yes, I know that Judo is primarily a form of education that uses physical activity as a way to express it's philosophy, BUT, at least for me (and what seems like a large portion of the modern Judo world), success in shiai has always been a strong desire, if not a driving factor in the practice of Judo. Realistically though, I have a lot of catching up to do. I have very little doubt in my mind that at least a couple of those extremely talented players from my youth is now doing greater things than I am now. That's exactly what they are now: great. Note, that "great" is distinct from "talented" or "prodigious"- rather, through diligent practice they have realized their potential. That's scary to me.

Regardless, (like my ability to do taiotoshi) the dream of one day being in the Olympics or a World Championship has never left me. In spite of how scared the thought of going against people more experienced, bigger (open weight), and taller than I am, I think the best course of action is to just try my best and see where it takes me. I'll write about my experience tomorrow!

Thanks for stopping by! You're alright.
-Ben